Late night ramblings

Some people I know are so good at writing it almost makes me want to stop….one in particular puts words together like she is sewing a new shirt and every piece fits perfectly.  If my writing was a shirt being sewed it would look like one of those Christmas sweaters with one arm longer than the other …you know the ones I mean. My life sometimes gets like that too…..Certain parts fit perfect…while other parts are like that long sleeve that just doesn’t fit. I have always said albeit tongue in cheek that you can explain everything with a sports metaphor. Life is like Golf….you see in golf you have different aspects of the game….ie putting, driving, irons, short game…it seems for most hackers like myself when one part of your game is working another is just missing in action. One day you can putt good, and you can’t hit off the tee very well, while on another day you are getting off the tee well and you are hitting your irons great, but you can’t putt to save your ass. Life can be like that….but I believe that like golf you just have to keep working to improve your game (or your life) the best way you can. So I am doing just that…keep on going forward, don’t let anything stop you….and never stop being who you really are, believe in your self…or don’t doubt yourself. That is where I am in life right now….Some things are working, and some things are not…but I will just keep working…trying to mesh it all together so I don’t end up with one sleeve longer than the other….When problems hit I tend to bury inside…let the fire burn inside so no one will see the flame…part of that reason is…..(and I am not doing a poor me thing here just stating a fact I am ok with) I just don’t have anyone at this stage of my life I trust to really open up and talk about things with. I am actually comfortable with just letting it burn inside…There have been times in my life where that has been the case and have grown to get comfortable with that. That is not a cry for help…just being real…telling it like it is.

One part of my life that is working well is when I spend time with my little man Nolan. Nothing could ever bring me more joy that the times we spend together doing something…or nothing. I did something right in God’s eyes for him to bring that little man in my life. He (God) blessed my life with Nolan…..I am lucky enough to spend lots and lots of time with him. When I saw him in the NICU and I was the first one to change his little diaper in between all those wires and tubes I  knew that instant that Nolan Tyler Wilson and I would have a special bond. He has made me change who I am…no matter what anyone thinks….for the better. I have reading him a bedtime story every night from the first day we brought him home from the hospital….He told me he is a daddys boy forever tonight…so no matter what happens in other parts of my life good or bad….nothing could outweigh the good that little man brings in my life….I thank God every day for him….So the bad I keep inside…cause I just don’t trust Y’all out there…sorry…The two things I know I can count on is ….God loves me for the broken man I am…and the blessing God has put in my life by the name of Nolan Tyler Wilson. Good Night all….GKW